funniest thing I read all day, the writing of Scott Longman in Mopar Action, Feb 2011 issue, '68 Power Wagon feature

"Displacement! No, MORE displacement! No, more than THAT! Offset journals and crank throws and who gives a good rat's thyroid if the piston skirts are in contact with the holes at the bottom end!

496 CID? No! More! 500? Keep at it! A Callies crank? 540? Yes!

540 flag waving, magnificent, glory laden American cubic inches! But flow? Heads! From Indy! Fire hoses have less flow! Fuel injection? Not a chance! No drama! No history!

Carbs! Leviathan carbs! 900! No! 1,000! What, are you lame? 1,100! Yes! 2200 CFM worth of carbs at full throttle that look like the Deep Throat Tunnel project during a class 5 rainstorm!

And what do you mean, atmospheric pressure? If I want atmospheric pressure, I'll inhale! Belts! Blowers! Boost! No, MORE boost! No, more than THAT! A Procharger F1R!

Dammit Boost is America! Why the hell did we go through the revolutionary war and adopt Adam Smith and put up the flag on Mt Suribachi and survive Jimmy Carter if we aren't going to have boost? How's 20 pounds? 20? Not a chance! make it a nice round number like 29! What? The motor will blow up? Intercoolers! No, bigger than that!

Set to chill Chernobyl! Heat exchangers that hang icicles in Hades! We're going for a column of air that would flash freeze green beans, denser that Elena Kagan, but half the weight and triple the throughput!"

Why I read Ezra Dyer's column in Automobile Magazine

The Buick Lacrosse's interior is so quiet that you often reutrn to find it infested with monks. It's so quiet, it told some ninjas to pipe down.

...Ezra Dyer

Automotive columnist for Edmunds and formerly for the LA Times, regular contributor to Rodder's Journal, former exec. director of the Peterson Museum

He writes regularly for Rodd Report, Rodder's Journal, Road and Track, Automotive Magazine.

"Few writers in the realm of automotive literature can match Ken Gross's way with words," described the award's chief judge, David Hess of Springfield, Virginia.

"His encyclopedic grasp of automotive science, design and technology shines through his columns in ways that even lay readers can understand. He combines this knowledge with a fluent command of language that stokes the senses in one's mind, to the point of hearing thrumming cylinders and sniffing the tangy odor of hot engine oil."

Gross is a freelance writer whose column "Road Warrior" has appeared on Inside Line since the site's launch in January 2005.

http://www.edmunds.com/insideline/do/ColumnsIndex/subsubtypeId=219/subsubtypeName=Road%20Warrior

This is funny stuff! From "The Mechanic"

For the record, killing is bad and should be avoided, along with Brussels sprouts and flip-flops in the workplace. Still, I call this one Kill the Car Guy. It's a phrase I've just had enough of. Everybody's a car guy these days; just ask them.

You used to have real credentials to call yourself a car guy. Grated knuckle skin. Greasy fingernails. R Compound tires. A racing trophy. Proof you've been to some racetrack somewhere at sometime. A basic understanding of the internal combustion engine. Knowing how to heel-and-toe downshift. Knowing how to do a proper burnout. Knowing the GT-R is not the new Skyline. Knowing which one is Bo and which is Luke. Something.

Relax. I'm not saying you need to know all this stuff to qualify. It's not that simple. There's no litmus test here. You just need to invest in cars. What you choose to invest is up to you: could be your time, your brain power, your garage space, your weekends, your marriage, or of course all of the above. I don't care what it is, but I know this; being a car guy should not be free.

There was a time when it wasn't. As little as a decade ago, car guy status still had to be earned. Earned through your knowledge and your actions. You had to have real passion for this stuff; you weren't in the club just because you wanted to be. You had to truly care and you had to make the sacrifices that come along with the commitment. It wasn't enough for cars to be just a passing interest, they had to be a high priority, an very important part of your life.

And now that every knit shirt knows Ol' Shel tuned up some Mustangs 100 years ago, that's not enough to qualify you anymore. Mrs. The Mechanic knows that much. If you're going to use your Shelby knowledge to substantiate your car guy qualifications, you better know what year he won Le Mans and what he was driving.

If not, get off my lawn.

http://blogs.edmunds.com/straightline/2008/10/kill-the-car-guy.html